So.

There's this thing. That means my life is turning 'round 'round 'round. We're talking tax bracket movement, here.

IT. JUST. HAPPENED.

SOMEONE is going out tonight to get shitfaced and practice singing "Touch It" in Rihannsu CELEBRATE.

Now, to do homework. Oh the thrills.

Being the most worthy anthem in question.

Hah.

I have to leave my house at noon to get to a 5:30pm university class by bus. This is not a big deal.

When I am a passenger on said bus, minding my own business, and we are following all relevant traffic laws as we pull up to a stop?

And we're rear-ended?

That's. Kind of less of a not big deal.

When I'm the tweaky freaky and I'm the only one composed enough to rouse the authorities, it's almost funny.

She fucking lived. She lived she lived she lived she's fine her stupid Nissan is fucking totaled god I hope she learns from this, I hope it changes her life.

The paramedic was absolutely astounded that I don't scarf the prescription candy.

My pharmacist's name is Bacardi.

Lights out, Gracie.

Waaay back in, like, March, I was sleep-deprived and hating life from work overload. And some douchenozzle stole my makeup bag. (It was about the size of a big wallet and had mostly non-makeup things inside, like highlighters.)

It also had my USB key inside. Aaaannnd my I-Pod. Fucking thief douchenozzle asshole.

Or. Or. Or so I thought.

I was cleaning my closet for the first time since March (I judge you right back) the better to get rid of things. Since. School is coming and I will have even less of a life than I do now. D:

But. Yeah.

Hello, I-POD. wb, bb sugar, mommy missed you. <3

It was in a box inside a box inside a bin, laying facedown underneath some random Harry Potter crap and a Mew foily Pokemon card. Behold, my precise and utterly logical organizational system.

I need to buy a new charge-synch-cord-thing, because OF COURSE I donated that to Goodwill recently because blah blah I'm not typing it again scroll up. XD

The moral of this story?

Don't ever put your I-Pod in your makeup bag. For serious.

ASDF RETDSIHUTGDSJHGRDNJKFDG;LIKRSE KEYSMASH BECAUSE

Driving lessons. I can afford them. And they will drive to my house, that I may drive, in car, which they have provided.

NO MORE BUS.

JESUS BUGFUCK HALLELUJAH.

Do they have a course to teach you to be even more aggressive? I wish devoutly to be a screaming terror on wheels. ^_^

The Jheti Driving Handbook (Excerpts):

Q: What do white dashed lines mean?
A: Passing allowed.

Q: What do solid yellow lines mean?
A: No passing allowed.

Q: What do you do if that gentleman in front of you accidentally cuts you off?
A: Aim for his gas tank.

Yay.

YOU GUYS.

ETA: UNSIGNED FLAME IS UNSIGNED. MY JOY WAS PERHAPS PREMATURE. =(

Sie/they were just...outraged. And appalled. By my tastefully Kinsey 4.5 bald tattooed men.
I HAVE OFFICIALLY MADE THE BIG TIME.

I hope they bring friends! I could have actual drama.

...Is it wrong that I'm this excited?

Oh, uh, the sick, twisted, deplorable feat of character-rape? That would be right here, assuming you'd like a side of Nero/Ayel with your Internetz today.

I have a feeling they will not care for my take on events. Not one bit.

Warms my heart.

Stolen from starsandtildes! And then modified to be something I can actually do! XD

First ten people to comment with a pairing or character will get a one-sentence fic of same. Double posting doesn't count; wait a few days until I see what I've got.

Reciprocation is always love, but not always requited or required.

It's FUCKIN' DISTRACTING.

How many of my buttons does this press?

There will be a test later. <3

I ride public transit. For six hours a day. Twice a week; down from thrice a week. I hate it. I hate absolutely everything about it.

THERE IS NO FUCKING BRIGHT SIDE. IT DOES NOT EXIST.

It is very easy for people with cars to tell me how grateful I should be. Sneering wheatgrass cyclists who live eight minutes from their cushy overpaid office job can stick their environmentally friendly transportation right up their low-carb-nonfat cheeks.

No, not the ones on their faces, although that might be fun to watch, too.

Yes, I have met some nice people. I can literally count them on one hand. And I have been riding public transit for FOUR YEARS. That should tell you something.

However. The "have gratitude for all life gives you" types are probably sick of my bitching.

It will not lessen. It will merely go into hiding. It will also become more extensive! As I used to edit the posts for brevity before. These will contain more hatred for humanity.

They will be on a filter.

I swear I really did used to like people and want to help them. City buses do not in fact run on gasoline, but rather ON HUMAN SOULS, which they devour slowly over long periods of time.

Adds? y/n/don't give a shit? Comment, pls.

I love EVERYTHING about this movie.

Except one.

And I should have seen it so much sooner.